People taken Karma very seriously in Pakistan. They don't view it as Karma per se, but the idea of bringing harm to someone is one of the worst things you could do. When something bad happens it's because someone cursed you, or spoke or thought of you in an envious manner. so must feed the poor, you must give alms. When something good happens, you must not jinx it and you must show gratitude, so you must feed the poor, and you must give alms... I remember being very young and being taught to place myself before others. Sometimes these teachings weren't obvious to me. When friends would come over, I was asked what they would want to eat, and if I responded with a, "but I don't want to eat thatttt" (whiny voice), I was told I must think of them before myself.
As I grew older, the lessons became stricter and also more important. I was taught to "be there" for people even when it was inconvenient for me. I was told over and over again that good deeds were always repaid, just not always in the ways we imagined they would be.
Today, I continue to struggle with concepts of Karma. I use the word struggle because, quite frankly, I find myself bending over backwards to placate people and the egos they deny that they have. Whether it's agreeing to do things to make others happy, or agreeing to eat certain foods to keep things simple in a crowd, I do care about the little and the large things that go on in people's lives and that make them happy.
I have to believe that Karma comes back around when you least expect it, and that even if you don't broadcast the good you do (wasn't that once the only way it was?), it is never forgotten. I struggle with people who appear to be at peace with themselves but then make some hideous choices because they bank on their good deeds of the day/week/year. It reminds me of people who come to the gym, work out, and eat more than they should post work-out. In their heads they burned some calories and so that justifies the excess food or the unhealthy food. So you do your good deeds, and then your screw up royally, screw people over royally and you talk about the next good deed you will do.
I've been that person - the one at the gym, busting my ass and eating more than I should. I am still that person, who works out extra hard before I eat something I know I shouldn't. But I make that choice every time. The choice to be that person. What does that say about me? I guess at the end of the day I am harming myself. I am taking away from the hard work that I do. Which is why I am honestly shocked when people take that a step further to hurt others.
I struggle with the concept of Karma, because despite all my studies in human behaviours and experiences, I struggle to understand people themselves. I don't necessarily believe that all good deeds are rewarded in this life, and I am unsure if I believe in a life hereafter (oh man, I am in so much trouble if there is), but I do believe that terrible acts, terrible deeds, float in the air like particles of dust, getting to where they need to be. Particles of dust that can only be seen through a bright sunbeam.
Because sometimes you have to shine a light on yourself to finally make out the filth and darkness within.
Is it that time?
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